Sunday, March 29, 2015

A Pair Of Pants Can Change Your Life

So this story is old now, but I don't write much on my blog anymore and I've been meaning to put this one down because it is hilarious.

First, let me start off this story by making a confession.  I only have three pairs of pants.  I wear the same pair of pants until I do the laundry next, or if an unfortunate accident with food happens.  Like if I get chocolate on them, for instance.  There.  Now you know one of my secrets.

So it was March 5th.  A Thursday.  A laundry day.  As I was looking for the clean pair I wanted to wear, they were mysteriously not hung up in my closet.  "Weird."  I thought to myself.  "I must have worn them and they must be in the wash already."  Which is weird because I don't remember wearing them sometime between Monday and Wednesday.  I may be genetically predisposed to dementia, but I think it's a little early to be experiencing early onset.  Meh.  I shrugged it off and took my laundry downstairs to sort with the rest of the kids' clothes.

At the end of laundry day, my pants had not turned up, so I tweeted:

"It is always weird when you go through your closet and find a pair of your pants are missing."

I went out to dinner with my bestest friend and we talked about the missing pants.  She has three daughters and completely understood.  Her pants and clothes go missing all the time.  I said, "Yes, but that's to be expected.  You have girls and girls do that.  Boys don't usually take their mom's clothes and wear them."

Two days later, I asked Zach if a pair of my pants had accidentally been put with his pants.  You know, sometimes I can be absentminded and start thinking about other things and put my stuff in the wrong pile.  It's rare.  And actually, this seems to be the first time I have ever done it with my clothes.  I know that I have looked at a shirt and not known which of my children it belonged to and put it in the wrong pile to catastrophic consequences.  Who knew boys would be so possessive of their clothes?

Anyway.  Zach checked his pile of pants he had yet to put in his drawer, but to no avail.  So I tweeted again:

"It seems the case of my missing pants has gone cold. :("

And I kept telling myself I should just buy myself like five more pairs of pants because then this wouldn't happen again.  But I didn't because I had other things to do.  Maybe I will get to it eventually.  It's obviously so important to me.

The next day was laundry day again, and as I pulled Zach's clothes out of his hamper, there they were.  My pants!  My girly pants with the decorations on the back pockets.  I sighed.  And then I just burst into giggles.  Did he not notice the pockets were decorated all fancy?  Well, probably not.  This is Zach we are talking about.  He's not very observant and it's quite possible he gets dressed in the dark.  I tweeted:

"The case of my missing pants has been solved. They were found in Zach's laundry basket.  Now the ?? is: Did he wear them? More on that later."

When he got home from school, I told him I found my pants and asked if he wanted to know where.
"Sure." He replied.
"In your laundry basket.  Does that mean you wore them?"
He got all sheepish and a little embarrassed and said, "I may have."
"Didn't you find them a little bit baggy?"  My waist is about seven inches bigger than his.
"A little bit.  Yes."

Mystery solved.

And now for your listening pleasure:

The song the title comes from.  A big thank you to my friend Amy for helping me out and telling me about it!