I Do Not Like Them On My Face! I Do Not Like Them Any Place!

When I was in fourth grade, I was sitting in church next to my mother (we always sat in the back row for some reason).  I looked up at the numbers the chorister posted to tell the congregation the page number of the songs we were going to sing in the hymnal.  I turned to her and whispered, "Mom, the numbers are blurry!"  She looked confused, and so I said again, "The song numbers are blurry." And I discreetly pointed at the front of the chapel.  She sighed, and said, "Oh, that's just great."  Or something like that.  She was never very happy when I was a kid.  I blame it on the fact that she was either pregnant or just had a baby most of my childhood.  That woman needed sleep!
To this day, I need glasses, or contacts.  Someday, I will get lasik.  But that day isn't for a couple of years yet.  I will be sure to blog about it when I do, though.  I'll also blog about when I get my tummy tuck.  Yes, I will be getting one someday.  Mine is gross.  But that is off the subject.
Last year, when I went to the eye doctor, he said I had an astigmatism in both my eyes, and wanted me to try a couple of contacts and see which ones fit me better.  That was news.  I thought I only had one in one of my eyes.  He said he would call, in a week.  He didn't call.  His secretary didn't call.  I finally got a call about two weeks later.  Both pairs were uncomfortable and I wanted to try something else.  I went back in, and got something else to try.  Again, they said they would call me in a week.  Nobody ever called me.  The reason for this is most likely that they were in the process of training a new secretary so the old one could move to another state.  I had some contacts left from the previous year, so I didn't worry about it.  I would just finish the boxes.  Well, I am supposed to throw away each pair after two weeks.  I ran out of contacts in October or September.  Finally around Thanksgiving, I decided I really couldn't wear them any more.  They were starting to irritate my eyes, and I put back on my glasses.  I could have called the eye doctor then, but then he would have wanted to do another eye exam, and my insurance only pays for one a year.  Besides, they also only cover contacts once a year.  If I had them get me contacts in November, I would  not have been able to get them again in February.  You see my logic? 
I hate glasses!  I look just fine in them.  I just don't like the way they look on me.  I don't like that they fog up when I am outside and  simply breathing.  I don't like that when Kurtis tries to kiss me, he smudges them.  I don't like that Baby E has decided she must try to pull them off my face (unsuccessfully - I'm too fast for her, but still).  I don't like that when I look up or down it's blurry.  I don't like that when I turn to check my blind spots when I am driving that I am suddenly blind.  I don't like that when I open my hot oven, they fog up.  I don't like that I can't wear my sunglasses (the sun hurts my eyes, and makes me squint which will give me wrinkles!).  I don't like that when I hug people they get knocked off my nose a bit, and I have to put them back on.  I don't like that even though they were adjusted for my nose and face, they still slide down.  I don't like that I can't see with out them.  I use my glasses for reading at night after I take out my contacts, and so I don't trip on things before I go to bed.  I liked that arrangement.
I got really frustrated with them a week or two ago (I can't remember why, but it was probably a combination of some of the above), and wanted to throw them at the wall.  I didn't do it, though.  Then I wouldn't be able to see at all, and that would suck even more.  I know this is trivial, and that I sound really spoiled, but I haven't worn my glasses since I was finally allowed to wear contacts at sixteen.  I'm old and set in my ways now!  This experience is making me grateful for my contacts, and long for lasik a bit more.

I will be going back to the eye doctor in a month, so hopefully this inconvenience in my life will be remedied.  I will still be seeing Dr. Allen.  I like him.  They just made a little mistake.  I could have called them, but if you tell me you are going to call me, I will not be calling you (and also the above story about my insurance is still true). I just hate wearing my glasses so much.  So very, very much.  

 Hee hee hee!  See?  I'm adorable! :D