I Saw the Movie Titanic

Well, I have been meaning to do this, but I just couldn't bring myself to blog about it. I think I am finally ready, so, here goes. A couple of weeks ago, I went to Blockbuster on my way to play rehearsals. It was a night when Mr. Kurtis was not feeling very well, so I went to get him some movies to watch while I had to be gone (Thank goodness. I really don't enjoy the moaning that accompanies every illness. Why are men so wimpy when they get sick?). So nice of me, right? Any way, he wanted to see the Matrix again, but apparently so did everybody else in town because they were out. Instead we rented The Dark Knight, and I also got Wall-E for the kids. I went to check out and the store clerk informed me that I was able to get two free movies! Really? Awesome! But they couldn't be new releases. So, thinking that I would go by myself and find something that I wanted to see, the clerk starts following me to help me pick out a movie. She asked what I was in the mood for. Um, a romantic comedy? I stammered. I wasn't expecting her to come with me. I don't need a babysitter. Any way, she asked me about a bunch of movies I'd seen already. Then I, trying to be conversational, point to the movie Titanic, and say, "I've never seen that movie." She freaks out a little and tells me I have to watch it! I didn't really want to watch it yet. I knew eventually, some day, I would watch it, but seriously, what's the hurry? The ship sinks. Duh. I've seen so many things making fun of that movie that I pretty much knew what was going to happen, too. Geesh! Then I picked Nacho Libre. A movie I also had not seen yet. I took my movies home and when Sunday rolled around, I still had not watched Titanic, so I figured I would watch it while I sorted the laundry. That movie pretty much sucked. I think Kate Winslet is a excellent actress and she was wonderful. Leo has pretty blue eyes. I'm stretching trying to find something good about this story. Rose's fiance was an ass. Sorry, Mom, there's just no other way to put it. And I thought it was pretty awesome when she spat in his face. I couldn't stand her mother. The Unsinkable Molly Brown wasn't the hero I knew her to be. What a load of crap. And really, did I need to see a car all fogged up and then out of nowhere, a hand slaps the window. I suppose it was supposed to be steamy. But whatever. Then the ship goes down. What a horrible way to die. Freezing, drowning, falling to your death. I really didn't need to watch 1,500 people die that night. Perhaps I am "sheltered" or whatever, but I just didn't like knowing that that is probably actually exactly what happened as the Titanic sunk. I'm traumatized. No! Not really! But I don't recommend this movie to anybody who doesn't like the idea of floating dead babies and children as a romantic movie. I should have said no. I should have listened to myself and decided on the romantic comedy. Titanic is not a romantic comedy! Duh! That crazy lady did not listen to me when I said I was in the mood for a romantic comedy. Whatever. It's my own fault. And now, 12 years after the release of the movie, I can finally say: I've seen Titanic. It sucks.