Another Audition...

I'm begining to think that the person I see when I look in the mirror is completely different from what other people see when they look at me.  I think of myself as this fat, old (emphasis on the old and the fat) woman.  And those aren't necessarily bad things.  I think I'm pretty.  I just have an area I would like to work on - my stomache.  I had an audition Saturday.  I thought I would be auditioning for the part of the woman who was decribed as "20's to 30's", and the restaurant manager.  But when I got there, the director told me he wanted me to audition for the ingenue.  I was taken aback.  The director had described her as being in her 20's.  I am  no longer in my 20's, and usually the love interest in a story is skinny and pretty, or pretty skinny depending on how you want to look at it. He he he.  It makes me wonder how old do I look?  Why do I look so young?  Maybe I think I am fatter than I am.  Maybe Hollywood has warped my self-image a little.  I have a goal to loose 40 pounds now, but what if I don't obtain that?  The camera adds 20 pounds, so as an actress, I feel I have to be skinny, but do I really have to be?  Is Hollywood changing?  It's confusing, and hard to figure out what one person wants from the other.  This post is confusing, too.  Sorry.  But the good news is, I got the part!  It's a student film, and the director is my sister's friend, so I think I got the part because she said she wouldn't be his friend any more, but hey, I'll take it!  You've got to use your connections where you can, right!  I go crazy when I'm not acting.  A friend said, it was good to have a break, but I took a break at Christmas time, so now I am ready to go!  Horray for me and my awesomeness!  Maybe I will change the title of this blog to "Me and My Awesomeness!" (No, I won't but that would be funny!)