They're Gonna Eat Me Alive

A couple weeks ago, I blogged about my husband.  Don't look for the post.  You won't find it.  It embarrassed him and I deleted it.  His asking me to do that was very upsetting to me.  Like end of your marriage upsetting.  I was hurt and angry mostly because of a comment that somebody left, and that he didn't say anything to me until after they had left it.  He promised me he would always have my back and this time he didn't.  Perhaps I was being a little dramatic.  I don't think so.  Betrayal is never an easy thing to deal with.  I read quotes all the time about how the person who really loves you will never disappoint you.  Well, my friends, that is a blatant lie.  People are human and they will always disappoint you at one point or another.  The ones who really love you are the ones who you disappoint but stick around any way.
This post isn't really about that, though.  It's about all those people who think I shouldn't blog about the bad things.  Because apparently my life is supposed to always be perfect and I am never allowed to feel angry or upset or feel anything but Pollyanna-happiness.  Well, I'm not Pollyanna.  Depression is not something that will just go away if you tell it to.  People who don't suffer from this will never understand it no matter how hard they try.  And you can say, "There's a pill for that."  But it's way more complicated than that.  Sometimes the pill doesn't work.  Sometimes it stops working.  Sometimes the side effects aren't worth it and sometimes, it just plain costs too much money.  You don't get to decide how somebody deals with the things that they go through in life.  Sometimes it isn't about you and you need to flip your point of view around for a minute or two.  I'm sure that makes me sound like a hypocrite.  I'm sure I am sometimes.  But guess what.  I am the author of this blog.  This blog is my point of view.  Not yours.  It's for me to state my point of view.  If you want to read your point of view go start your own blog.
I recently spoke with a friend who told me she found that post refreshing.  She said it is nice to know she isn't the only one who gets mad at her husband, or has a bad day.  I don't intend to stop blogging about the bad things that happen to me.  I will blog about the good things that happen and the bad because that's life.  That's what this blog is about, you know.  My life.  You have to take the good with the bad.  But trying to make somebody look like a terrible person just because you didn't like what they wrote is wrong.  There is a difference between constructive criticism and just being mean.  None of my posts are ever intended to be mean.  Funny, sarcastic, sure, but I'm not a mean person.  No, I'm not mean.  I'm just sensitive.  Cuts go deeper for me.  Even the unintended ones.  But I will never apologize for my feelings, or for what I write here.

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